My new obsession is photography… and adobe lightroom. I even have a fresh flickr account. Welcome to 2003, Rachelle.
Last weekend was epic. Two of my friends from high school were married at, well, our high school. I don’t think I had actually been in the auditorium since my junior year. There were old friends in town from across the states. Some I have kept up with better than others. I left sleepy Tally when I was 18 for the great Alaskan wilderness only to return 7 years later after living in several states, the loss of my father, my college graduation and many other life changing events.
When I returned, the changed woman-child that I was, I found a conflict with my old friends – whether the problem was mine, theirs or a combination of both – I found it hard to be the new person I had so happily become. I had to separate myself from them and it was hard and isolating, but necessary for my own growth. I could not be the person that I had been. I didn’t want to live in the past and I could not seem to find the balance and harmony with my history.
I am not sure if this is a common coming of age experience. I know a lot of my friends who had strong parents, seem to come into their own after their parents pass away. It seems that each one of us from the group had been off on our own adventures and been isolated from the group at some point in time. I just never seemed to find my groove in reconnecting. But this wedding in particular was a good bonding time for me. I was so happy to have been a part of these people’s lives even if for brief moments, because everyone has blossomed into a beautiful, smart and intellectual being.
I wasn’t looking for a design manifesto but one found me. 42. Remember. Growth is only possible as a product of history. Without memory, innovation is merely novelty. History gives growth a direction. But a memory is never perfect. Every memory is a degraded or composite image of a previous moment or event. That’s what makes us aware of its quality as a past and not a present. It means that every memory is new, a partial construct different from its source, and, as such, a potential for growth itself.
The good thing about memories is that the sour tends to fade faster than the sweet. And I am happy to have found such a wonderful group of friends whose history gave me the wonderful and enlightened path I am on today. To my sweet friends of past, today and tomorrow.
Love,
Rachelle
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